Lies
by qwerty1313
Summary: Hotch and Emily fight. Can she forgive him for what he did during the fight?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first Fanfiction. It is set right after Emily joins the BAU, but in this story, Hotch and Haley have already divorced. (Recently edited)

Disclaimer in bio.

Chapter 1

"tell me the truth!" he shook her. She tried to pull away, but his grasp on her arms was too tight. She attempted a counter-maneuver, and he slammed her against the brick wall of the alleyway.

"Hotch, I did not leak information to Senator Steinwell." She let out in a gasp. The blow of the wall to her back had stolen her breath. he studied her for a minute, not loosening his grip on her. Emily knew she would have bruises in the morning. What hurt her more than that though, was the knowledge that he felt he could not trust her.

"How did she know about the prostitutes? The connection between their murders?" He was beginning to doubt her involvement in it, but he had to be sure.

"I truly do not know where she got her information from. This morning was the first contact I'd had with her in over a year. And I only talked with her after she left your office, Sir." She put in the Sir because she knew it bothered him.

She could see his eyes searching her for any sign that she was lying. She knew there wouldn't be one, she wasn't the leak. "okay" he said, releasing her arms and stepping back. The blood rushing back into her arms made them hurt more than the pressure had, but she could deal with pain. She kept a straight face.

"go home Prentiss, its late." _What, no apology?_ she thought sarcastically. _of course not, its Hotch, he didn't want you here in the first place, didn't want you to replace Elle._ He walked away, leaving her standing in an alleyway outside the BAU.

She walked back inside, to grab some files, and her bag. She knew he had told her to go home, but this was like her small act of defiance. Besides, she needed her things, and he couldn't actually kick her out of the building.

She walked straight to her desk, not bothering to speak to Morgan or Reid, who were both giving her strange looks. She knew what they must be thinking. To her knowledge, Hotch had never dragged an agent out of the FBI Building before. They were probably wondering why he had to her, and what had transpired once they were outside. They seemed to decide against asking her though, and she left the BAU in silence, hoping that tomorrow would be better than today.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

Emily woke up earlier than usual the next morning. She knew she would need the extra time to rub some of the soothing cream she had bought in Paris the year before, into her bruises. She had avoided looking at the sore places the night before, because seeing the bruises would force her to face the facts. Her boss had physically attacked her. She didn't even know what Steinwell had said to him, but obviously it had made the normally cool Hotch lose his temper. And he had taken it out on her.

Emily walked into the bathroom, and got out two ibprofen from the medicine cabinet, and swallowed them with some water out of the tap. She took off the long sleeved shirt she had worn to bed, leaving herself in only a tank top. She lifted her arms, examining the purple finger-shaped bruises that were on the middle of both her upper arms.

_Darn, and I wanted to wear that new sleeveless green button up I bought last week. _She went through her closet and decided on a casual white stretchy V-neck with buttons that went from the V to the middle or the shirt. It cut off at the elbows. _just don't roll up your sleeves today_. She reminded herself, knowing that was her normal habit. She really didn't want her co-workers to see the marks on her skin. She didn't want to explain who had put them there, and why.

Emily walked into the BAU at 7:15 A.M. she had already put together a story for why Hotch had practically dragged her out of the office yesterday. She was just going to say that he had wanted to ask her about her thoughts on the case, straight up, without giving her a chance to think about it. She hoped her co-workers would buy it, and if they didn't, she hoped they would just leave it alone. Derek was already at his desk, and he regarded her with a questioning look as she walked to her desk. She would wait for him to ask. She really didn't want to bring it up, on the off-chance that he would ask her something completely unrelated.

"So, what did Hotch want yesterday?" She saw curiosity in his eyes, but also something else. If she wasn't mistaken, it looked like concern.

"he just wanted to hear my uncensored thoughts on the case," she responded. Now she saw disbelief, and a little bit of hurt in his eyes. He hadn't thought she would lie to him. He wondered what had really happened, and what had caused Emily Prentiss to walk into work today with guarded eyes, and body language that was giving the clear message of leave me alone.

Emily repeated her story for Reid when he walked in a few minutes later. She didn't like lying to her colleagues, but figured it was better than them knowing the truth. He looked like he believed it just as much as Derek had. When JJ walked in and asked, Emily had a minor blow-up.

"How do you even know about it? You weren't even here! Why doesn't everybody mind their own business?" JJ looked at her shocked, and Morgan and Reid exchanged looks. They knew for sure now that Emily was hiding something.

"Agent Prentiss, my office, now." Hotch had witnessed her whole outburst through his open office door.

He was already sitting behind his desk when she reached his office.

"close the door." she did, and he motioned for her to sit on the chair opposite his desk. She sat, wondering if he would call her on her behavior. He certainly hadn't been a great role model of correct work-place behavior last night.

"Agent Prentiss, if you cannot conduct yourself in a proper manner within the office, then I will be forced to suspend you from working in the field." _Sonofabitch _she thought. He really was going to act like she was the only one who had done something wrong. She stiffened.

"Yes, Sir. It won't happen again sir." she added a little bit of venom to the sirs, but not enough to be called insubordinate. She walked out of his office, focusing very hard on closing the door behind her, rather than slamming it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So Hotch isn't completely evil. Thank you to all who reviewed! I love getting feedback! (recently edited)

Disclaimer in bio

Chapter 2

BAUAARONHOTCHNER

When she left his office, he felt a wave of guilt hit him. Last night, he had dragged her out of the office, attacked her, and accused her of something she didn't even do. He didn't know what had come over him, but seeing Emily hug Senator Steinwell had made him sure she was the one who had leaked the connection between the prostitutes. He knew he had insulted her with his accusations, and then he hadn't even apologized. He was fairly certain that her outburst this morning was due to questions over what had happened outside last night. That knowledge made him feel even more guilty.

He knew that what had happened last night was partly because of all the stress he was under from the divorce, and the anger he had at Strauss for appointing a new agent to his team without his knowledge or consent. He promised himself he would apologize to her for his behavior by the end of the day, and reassure her that he would not take her out of the field.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

Emily was seething by the time she got back to her desk. This was one of those times she was thankful that she had grown up an ambassador's daughter, and had learned when to keep her mouth shut. She was sure if she hadn't, she would have voiced her outrage at having her own actions questioned, while Hotch acted like his from the night before were fine.

She decided she would block him out, and when she did have to speak with him, or be around him, she would regard him with a cool but polite attitude. She figured this was the only way she would be able to keep her anger in check.

When Derek walked into the bullpen with an extra-large pizza box in hand, everyone knew it was time for lunch. Emily got out her bottle of ibprofen and took two more pills. Everybody was in the conference room, eating, and when Emily walked in, the only two seats left were between Derek and Reid, or next to Hotch. Emily quickly sat down to the right of Derek, the left of Reid. Normally she hated being in between the two, because they fought a lot, but she would take that over sitting next to Hotch right now.

Derek and Reid were arguing over who would be the best killer, a small guy, with a weapon, or a big guy with just his hands. It wasn't hard to figure out who was arguing which side. Reid was just getting into a complex explanation of how the little guy would be better, when Derek reached across Emily and cuffed Reid on the back of his head.

"but a big guy can just do that" he said, his kind of explanation. When he was pulling his arm back to his body, it, accidentally tipped Emily's plate off the table, spilling her slice of pizza onto her white shirt. "Crap! Man, Derek," she hissed at him, while trying to get the pizza sauce off her shirt. It wasn't working. She walked out with the intent of getting a shirt out of her go bag, then realized she only had sleeve-less shirts in it. _Aw Damn! Maybe I can borrow one of JJ's_.

she walked back into the conference room, and motioned to JJ. JJ walked out to the hall, wondering what Emily wanted.

"look, I'm sorry about snapping at you before about me and Hotch, I didn't mean to, you were just the third person to ask me about it." Emily apologized.

"No Problem" replied JJ. "do you think I could borrow one of your shirts? I forgot to put some more in my go bag." Emily finished the lie, hoping she wouldn't get caught, and praying that JJ would have a long-sleeved shirt.

"yea, sure, but you should pack some shirts tonight, you never know when we might have a case."

"no, but you do," Emily joked. They walked together to JJ's office, and JJ rummaged through her bag. She pulled out a blue shirt. Emily breathed a mental sigh of relief when she saw that it was a long-sleeve. JJ handed the shirt to Emily, saying

"you can change in here, there's no point going all the way to the bathroom." She was already closing the blinds. _Uh-oh. I've always changed in front of JJ before, and it wasn't a big deal. She's gonna get suspicious if I ask for privacy all of a sudden. Might as well get this over with, because you're not getting out of it._ "Thanks, for the shirt, and everything" Emily said, turning, hoping JJ wouldn't be able to see the bruises from behind. _Here goes_, she thought. Emily pulled the stained shirt over her head. And JJ gasped.

A/N: Recently edited


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I really appreciate all of the reviews i've been getting! (recently edited)

Disclaimer in bio

Chapter 3

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

"what happened to your back?" JJ asked, shocked. Emily's upper back looked like one solid bruise. Then she saw her arms.

"And your arms? What happened Emily?" Emily didn't even know her back had bruises on it. She struggled for a moment on whether or not she should tell JJ the truth, then decided against it, afraid JJ might confront Hotch.

"Its nothing JJ, don't worry about it." she tried to play it off.

"Don't worry about it? Someone attacked you, Emily!"_ Crap. _

"Who was it, Em?" JJ asked in a gentler tone.

"Look, just let it go, okay, they don't even hurt that much." _I'm such a liar_, she thought to herself.

"No, I wont just let it go, and I'm going to go tell the team somebody attacked you. You can't hide from this, Em."

"JJ-" She was already out the door. Emily quickly threw on the blue shirt, and raced after JJ.

She reached her at the door of the conference room. Everybody was done with lunch, and they looked up as the two women entered. JJ opened her mouth to speak

"-"

"don't, please?" Emily asked in a small voice. She didn't want Hotch to know how much he had hurt her, and she didn't want the team thinking of her as a victim.

"I'm sorry, Em." she turned to the team.

"Somebody attacked Emily."

"What?"

"Who?"

"When?" everybody started asking questions at once. Except for Hotch. He was silently regarding Emily. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, or if he even knew it was him who had hurt her. Morgan walked up to her.

"tell me who it is, and I'll happily kill them for you. don't worry, no one would ever find the body." Emily was getting exasperated.

"look, guys, I appreciate all this, but I'm fine, really, don't worry about me." Hotch finally spoke up.

"Can Agent Prentiss and I have the room please?" he asked in a calm voice, but one that was not to be argued with. Everybody got up and rushed to the door. They were out within ten seconds. Hotch closed the blinds before he spoke again.

"Let me see."

"Hotch-"

"that wasn't a request." she glared at him, but pulled the shirt over her head.

She was embarrassed about standing in front of her superior in only a bra, and that embarrassment was magnified by the scrutiny he was giving her bruises. He lifted her arm lightly, for a closer look. It was so unlike the painful grip he'd had on her last night, the one that had caused the bruises. He turned her, so he could search for any other bruises, and she could hear his small intake of air, as he saw her back.

He turned her around so they were facing again, and took a step back, to give her some room. He motioned for her to put her shirt back on.

"I did this?" he asked in a quiet voice, gesturing to the purple marks on her, such a contrast to her pale skin. She looked up, and saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. She did not reply.

"Agent Prentiss," he said a little louder, moving closer. "Did I give you these bruises?" She glared up at him. She didn't like how he was invading her private space.

"yes." she chose the simplest answer.

BAUAARONHOTCHNER

The bruises had taken his guilt to a whole new level. He had hurt her. He hadn't known how much until she had taken off her shirt. If he hadn't felt so disgusted with himself, it might have turned him on, but when he saw the bruises, guilt overtook him. He examined each bruise carefully, as though looking at them would heal them. The way she shifted from one foot to the other betrayed how uncomfortable she felt around him. _Or course she feels uncomfortable around you, you idiot. You attacked her, you gave her bruises, you threatened to put her on desk duty._

"Emily-" he started.

"Don't. just don't." She rushed out of the room.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

He had been about to apologize, but that would have been too much. She walked quickly to her desk, and sat in her chair. JJ was sitting on Reid's desk, Reid and Derek were just watching her.

"Don't," she repeated. They decided to leave her alone. She worked on some paperwork that needed to be turned in, and left at 7:00 P.M. Which was early for her. She just couldn't stand the looks everybody kept giving her. She knew they just wanted to help, but she wanted to be left alone.

BAUDEREKMORGAN

As soon as Emily left, I glanced up at Reid. He shrugged. I walked to Hotch's office, and knocked on the door.

"come in."

"Emily left," I told him. He looked sad, and maybe guilty, though what he would feel guilty about was beyond me. Maybe it was just one of those leader things. You felt guilty if anything happened to someone under you.

"Did she tell you who hurt her?" I asked him. He didn't answer.

"Hello? Hotch man? Did she say who it was?" he looked up, and now I could see anguish all over his face.

"It was me," he said at last. _What? Hotch hurt Emily? No way!_

"You?" I let my disbelief show. He just nodded, and the way he looked had me thinking maybe he was telling the truth.

"Why? Why would you hurt Emily?" I could tell he was debating whether or not to tell me. I stared him down. Finally he gave in.

"Senator Steinwell came to see me the other day. Told me to keep the prostitution story out of the newspapers, or she wouldn't let us have the case. She has connections to the local LEO's. She hugged Emily in the bullpen, and they talked. I though Emily leaked to Steinwell." Hotch looked exhausted, but I wasn't going to let him out of it that easily.

"Emily would never leak information like that, Hotch!" I defended her.

"I know. I was just so angry about Steinwell threatening to pull the case from us, then Emily hugged her." JJ had described the bruises on Emily's body to me. It made me angry to think that Hotch had hurt her like that.

"So you took out your anger on her? Hotch, She's not your punching bag, and she's half your size!"

"I know that! I just wasn't thinking, I was so sure she was the leak, and when I took her outside, she denied it. I shook her, hard, and when she tried to break away from me, I pushed her up against a wall. I know it was wrong, and I know I could get fired for it. I can't believe I lost my temper like that." I thought back to last night, to when Emily came back to the office to get her things. She hadn't looked in pain, but I knew she was good at hiding pain, and emotions.

"you have to tell the rest of the team. They deserve to know, and Emily doesn't deserve to have to keep this a secret from her colleagues and friends." If he wouldn't tell the others, I definitely would.

"I'll do it right now. I wish Emily hadn't left. I tried to apologize to her earlier, but she just walked out." Hotch said, in a resigned voice.

Hotch gathered everybody in the conference room. Garcia and Reid sat in chairs, and JJ and I stayed standing.

"I know you all know that Agent Prentiss was hurt, and I know you are all wondering who did it." Hotch started.

"Sir, if you have a name, I can find out where they live-" Garcia tried to help.

"No" Hotch cut in. "that's not necessary. We don't have to find out who hurt her, because it was me." I almost felt sorry for the man, then I thought of the bruises JJ had described. The room was silent for an entire minute while everyone stared at Hotch in shock. Then Reid started prattling off the data on work-relationship abuse.

"Reid." I quieted him with a hand on his shoulder.

"I just didn't want Emily to have to keep hiding it from her friends. I am going to resign from the BAU tomorrow morning, so I just wanted everyone to know what happened, and why I'm not going to be around anymore." Then he walked out of the room.

A/N: So Hotch has decided to repent...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Recently edited

Disclaimer in bio

Chapter 4

BAUAARONHOTCHNER

I had turned into a monster, without even realizing it. I had turned into one of the people we catch and send to jail. I walked away from the BAU and to my car, realizing that it would be the last time I worked there. I started driving home, and then changed my mind and headed in the direction of Emily's house.

She deserved to hear my apology, and to know that I wouldn't bother her anymore, because I wouldn't be working at the BAU anymore. I walked through the hallway of the apartment building and found her door. I knocked.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

Someone was knocking on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone, so I grabbed my gun and kept it in my right hand while I walked to the door to check the peep hole. It was Hotch. Does that mean I keep the gun, or put it away, I wondered. I opted for putting it away.

I opened the drawer in the table by the door, and put my gun in it. I opened the door.

"What do you want?" I asked in a cold voice, trying to hide my surprise that he had come to my home.

"Can I come in?" I thought about it for a moment

"no, you can't."

"Please, Emily, there are some things I need to say, and I'd rather not say them while standing in your hallway."

"Fine, come in." I stood back so Hotch could get through the doorway. A small part of me, the part I was refusing to listen to was yelling at me _"this is the man who hurt you, why are you letting him into your house?"_

We walked into my living room, and he sat on the couch. I sat down on the end furthest away from him. I still wasn't ready to be close to him, and I was beginning to regret letting him in.

"First, Emily, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am-" I didn't want an apology from him. _That didn't change anything!_

"I don't need your apology, Agent Hotchner" I tried to keep it as formal as possible. He continued anyhow.

"I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I hurt you. You, nobody, deserves to be treated the way I did you, and I wish with everything I have that I could take it back." He actually seemed sincere. I thought he would say a quick apology, and leave, but it looks like he's about to confess all his sins.

"I know there is no excuse, and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like I did." he continued. "I wanted to personally let you know that I am resigning from the BAU tomorrow morning. I have already told the others, and that I was the one who hurt you. You don't deserve to have to hide things from your friends."

_Wait, Hotch was quitting? Maybe he actually does regret hurting me, it sure seems so if he is going to quit his job because of it._

"You can't quit." I said abruptly. "The team needs you. You are our leader. You can't just leave. No, I'm not saying that I'm going to just forget what happened, but you can't run away from your problems like that." _Why am I trying to convince him to stay?_

"Emily, I don't know if I can work there any more. I don't know if I can see you everyday, knowing what I did to you, having the team hate me, for what I did to you. I don't think I can even be their leader any longer." He looked sad and defeated.

"So you're a coward then? You'd rather run away from your problems than have to face them. That's pathetic Hotch." I wasn't sure why I was trying to make him mad. _you do remember what happened the last time he got pissed off, don't you?_ I just didn't like seeing him not try to fight for anything. He had given up.

Then I saw anger flare up in his eyes, and it reminded me of last night. I unconsciously shrunk back a little further into the couch, away from him.

BAUAARONHOTCHNER

_Why was she trying to get me to stay at the BAU? She should be relieved that she wouldn't have to be around me anymore._ Then she called me pathetic, and I couldn't stop the anger from building up inside me. She saw me getting mad, and shrank back against the couch cushions.

_Why is she doing this? Why cant she just let it be? _

"Emily," I said, moving a little closer to her. She moved back automatically. "Why don't you want me to leave? I thought you would be relieved." He could see her thinking about how to answer him.

"I don't want to be the one to take you away from the team. I don't want to be the reason you are leaving. If you have another reason, then that's different, but if I'm the reason you're leaving, then I don't want you to quit." _She is the reason. She doesn't want you to quit. What are you going to do?_

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

I could tell from the look on his face that I was the only reason he was going to leave.

"look Hotch, don't quit. We can work what happened out, but you cant run away from it. It wont go away just because you leave." He looked at her for a minute, probably trying to figure out if she had some ulterior motive. She was supposed to be mad at him, after all.

"Alright, but if the team cannot handle me leading them anymore, then I will ask to be reassigned." I'm fairly sure that wont be a problem. I can talk to the team tomorrow, and convince them to behave themselves. _So now he has no excuse to quit._

When I walked into the office the next morning, all eyes were on me. I walked to my desk and set my bag down, then turned to the team. Even Garcia was there. I decided to just get down to the basics.

"Hotch and I talked last night. He told me he'd already told you guys he was resigning. I talked him out of it. He is a good profiler, and the leader of this team. I'm willing to give him a second chance, and I really hope all of you will too."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Recently edited

Disclaimer in bio

Chapter 5

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

They stared at me in shock. Then JJ asked,

"You're just going to forgive him?" I nodded.

"I saw the bruises, Emily, he really hurt you."

"I'm not saying I will forget what he did, I just don't think that he should leave the BAU. It's where he belongs. He gave up his family for it, and I don't want him to quit because of me." Derek stepped towards me.

"I will accept that you forgive him, but I want to see the bruises."

"Why?" _What's he up to?_

"I want to see how mad I need to be at him today, and after that I'll let it go, if that's what you want."

"I'm not taking my shirt off in the middle of the bullpen, Derek." He glanced at JJ, and the nod she gave him let me know they had planned his all along.

"Then show me in JJ's office."

"Fine, but after this, no more trouble, got it?"

We walked up the steps, then turned into the office. Derek closed the door and I noticed the blinds were already closed. _He's not going to let this go. No point in putting it off. _I unbuttoned my shirt. Even though everyone knew about the bruises, I hadn't wanted to broadcast them, so I chose a long sleeve shirt this morning.

When I pulled the shirt from my shoulders, I saw anger take over Derek's face.

"He's dead." he stated simply. _Uh-oh._

"Derek, don't do anything stupid, they really aren't that bad… they don't hurt that much." He stared at me unbelievingly.

"Emily, I've had bruises before, and I know the ones that look like that hurt like a bitch. Don't lie to me." Those four words propelled me back to that night.

BAUDEREKMORGAN

"… Don't lie to me." I saw the color drain out of Emily's face, and her eyes registered shock, becoming glazed over.

"Hey, Emily, snap out of it!" she blinked once, then quickly grabbed her shirt, put it back on, and rushed out the door. _What the hell? What just happened?_ I went out into the bullpen just in time to see Emily rounding the corner. It looked like she was heading to the bathroom. I saw JJ get up and follow her, and I was glad that somebody could be there for her.

BAUJENNIFERJAREAU

When Emily walked out of my office, she was pale as a ghost. She walked in the direction of the bathroom, and I got up and followed her. When I walked into the bathroom, I saw Emily standing in front of a sink, looking at herself in the mirror. It looked like she had just splashed some water on her face.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. She spun around to face me, looking shocked. _I guess she didn't hear me come in_. there was terror in her eyes. _Did Hotch scare her that much?_

"Emily, I want you to tell me exactly what happened after you two left the office." hopefully this would shed some light on the story.

"JJ, I don't really want to talk about it."

"Honey, you were attacked, if you don't tell somebody, its going to eat away at you. How many times have we told victims that?" That earned me a glare, but got her talking.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

"He dragged me outside, into that alley to the left of the entrance. He was asking me all these questions, about whether or not I leaked information about the case to Senator Steinwell, and if I was a spy. I denied both, and he got angry. He seemed so sure that I was the leak…" I trailed off. _control yourself, don't start crying. _

"he kept asking me, demanding I tell him the truth. I kept denying it. I could tell he was getting really mad though, so I tried to go back inside. He grabbed my arms, and asked me again. When I denied it, again, he shook me and yelled that I was lying. I tried to get away, and he slammed me against the wall." I tried not to let the description pull me back to that night. I tried to stay detached.

"he asked me again, I denied it again, then I told him I hadn't spoken to Steinwell for over a year. He let go of me, and told me to go home, because it was late. That's it."

"that's it?" JJ looked outraged

"that's it? Don't act like it isn't a big deal Em, It is. He is your boss. With the job we have, you are supposed to be able to trust him with your life, and he attacked you. This is not just something that will go away if you try to ignore it."

"I KNOW that JJ. You think I don't? but I have to find some way to get over this. I have to find some way to forgive him, because I can't let myself become some scared victim. I don't have that privilege. This team needs him, and im not leaving over this, so we have to find a way to work through this. Im going to talk to him at lunch. I don't really know how to feel about this, and I don't think he does either. He's really lost right now. His wife left him, and after the thing with Elle leaving, and Gideon, I think all the pressure is getting to him." I put up my hand when JJ opened her mouth to speak.

"don't get me wrong, im not making excuses for him, im just saying that all of this is coming from somewhere, its not that he just attacked me because he wanted to." I took a deep breath. I didn't even realize that was how I felt or how I was thinking about everything until I just said it.

"We really should get back to work." and with that I walked out of the bathroom, leaving a somewhat confused JJ behind.

A/N: anybody have any ideas, cause i'm starting to get writers block... I would really appreciate any suggestions.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: recently edited

Disclaimer in bio

Chapter 6

BAUDAVIDROSSI

While the Derek and Reid got busy with paperwork, Dave made his way up to Hotch's office. He let himself in without knocking, taking note that the blinds were drawn. He was surprised to see Hotch sitting at his desk staring blankly out the window. When Hotch was upset, he buried himself in work. Hell, even during his divorce, you could find him there, working harder than ever. To see him sitting at his desk without a single sheet of paper on it was like an enormous sign declaring his guilt. Dave sat in the chair opposite Hotch and waited. He knew better than to push Hotch to talk before he was ready.

Hotch looked up and met Dave's eyes for the first time since he had walked into the room, and opened his mouth to speak. Then a flicker of shame crossed his face, and he looked away.

"I don't even know where to begin," he said dejectedly. "She wants me to stay, but I don't know if I can."

"She can get past this, Aaron. She doesn't want to be responsible for the team losing its leader." Hotch just shook his head.

"But she's _not _responsible. I am. Nothing that happened was her fault, Dave!" His voice started to rise.

"I know that Hotch, but we both know that that's the way she sees it. She wants things to go back to normal, and the more you resist that and continue to alienate yourself from all of us, the harder you make things for her. If you keep up this guilt trip you're on, the only person you will end up hurting is her. So get your act together and show all of us that you _can _get through this." Dave sat back as he watched Hotch process everything he'd just said.

"Yes, getting everything back to normal as soon as possible is the best choice of action. I still need to talk this through with her one last time before we can sort everything out. I need to make sure that she is really comfortable with this, and is not just doing it because it's what's best for the team." Dave gave him a nod, then left the office, assured that things would get back to normal very soon.

BAU

JJ announced a new case just after lunch.

"We have a serial rapist/murderer in San Francisco. They called and reported their fourth victim just now. They sent these crime scene photos." She brought the photos up on the screen.

Morgan let out a whistle.

"Man, that is some intense rage!" The victims were severely beaten, and had between ten and fifteen gunshots. Reid opened the case file.

"It says here that the time between victims is rapidly decreasing. The time between the first two was eight days, but between the last two was just a day. This means he is escalating at an exceedingly fast rate. Hotch stood up.

"We will start a preliminary profile on the plane, wheels up in 20, the sooner we get there, the better."

BAUAARONHOTCH

I was just reaching for my go-bag when my phone rang. I checked the caller ID and saw it was Hailey. _I don't have time for this now, and I know all she is going to do is piss me off. But it could be about Jack. _a little voice inside my head nagged. So I answered it.

"This is Hotch."

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

I got to the plane three minutes early so I could talk to Hotch and reassure him that I was past what had happened. I saw him walking towards the jet, and he looked upset and angry. When he was only a couple feet away, I gathered up my courage and started talking.

"Look, Hotch, I just wanted to let you know-"

"Just get on the plane Prentiss," He demanded. I was a little taken aback by the hostility in his voice, but I was determined to finish what I had to say and be done with it, so we could both move on. I opened my mouth to speak, but he shoved past me, almost knocking me over in the process.

When I got my balance back and looked up, I saw Morgan walking towards me.

"You okay?" he asked when he reached me. I just nodded, suddenly not sure. I was trying to make peace between us, and Hotch just threw it back in my face. He didn't grab me this time, but he was still aggressive, and I was beginning to doubt we could get past any of this if he kept acting this way towards me.

BAUDEREKMORGAN

"Are you sure your okay?" I asked again. I had seen the fear in her eyes when Hotch pushed by her. I haven't known her for a long time, but we became friends very quickly due to shared interests, and because we both knew that there was never going to be any kind of romance between us. We were strictly friends, almost like brother and sister. She didn't deserve to be treated this way by Hotch.

If I hadn't promised her I would let it go earlier, I would go tell him my mind this minute. But as it was, I knew I had to wait for her to ask for help. I put my hand on her shoulder as we boarded just to let her know that I was there for her if she needed me.

BAU

Emily smiled up at Derek as he offered his support. When everyone was on board, (Reid lagging behind as usual), the plane took off. The team discussed the case and decided because of the acceleration in times between killings, Hotch, JJ, and Reid would go to the station as soon as the plane landed, and Prentiss, Morgan, and Rossi would go visit the most recent crime scene.

When the plane landed, it was morning. the two groups went their separate ways, Hotch calling in to Garcia to see if she had received any new information on the victims, and Morgan typing in the address of the crime scene on the GPS.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

I wondered as we drove off if Hotch had intentionally separated us, or if it was just a coincidence. Of course Reid would probably tell me there is no such thing as coincidences, but I would rather think he did not do it on purpose than to think that he was all of a sudden avoiding me.

I thought back to the way he acted in front of the plane. When I was trying to make it right between us again. Now it seemed as though the gap between us was getting bigger instead of closing.

When we arrived at the scene, we got out and looked around. We were in an alley cordoned off by police tape. We were in the Tenderloin District, near a homeless shelter. I gestured my head towards it, catching Morgan's eye. He nodded, and I took off in that direction.

I read the little sign above the doorway: Society of St. Vincent De Paul. I stepped into the darkly lit building. I saw a small desk, with an aging man sitting behind it.

"Hello, my name is Emily Prentiss, I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. Would it be okay if I spoke to some of the guests here?" He just looked at me.

"it's about the woman who was murdered across the street." I said, knowing that news of the murder had already gotten out.

"one of them might have witnessed something. I'm not here to accuse anyone." I assured him.

"Go on back," he said.

A/N: I would like to thank the people who helped me with ideas of where to take the story. You guys are awesome!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY! I know i've taken FOREVER to update, and I have no excuse for keeping everybody waiting so long. Also, I realize that this chapter is SUPER short, but there is more coming soon. I just wanted to let everyone know that i have not, and am not giving up on this story. and now I'm rambling, so I'll let you get on to the actual story.

Disclaimer in bio

Chapter 7

The visit to the shelter was unsuccessful. Emily asked every single person inside whether they had seen anything, or heard anything, but they had only given nods or short answers, not wanting to talk to any type of law-enforcement.

She walked back to the scene, and after a brief catching-up by Morgan, they headed to the station to meet up with the rest of the team.

When they got to the station, they found out another victim had been taken.

"Anna Jensen, age 26, was reported missing by a neighbor." explained JJ. "So far as we can tell, she has been gone for four hours."

"Her neighbor reported her missing after four hours?" Emily asked, surprised.

"She has a schedule, and she sticks with it," Hotch replied, his tone of voice adding a silent '_any more stupid questions?' _to the end of his sentence.

Emily took a step back, at the hostility in his voice, unsure why Hotch was mad at her. JJ stepped in, taking control of the situation by putting five pictures on the whiteboard.

"These are the pictures of our victims. They all had successful careers, ranging from lawyers to school teachers." '_and they were all dark-haired, with a similar build as me.' _Emily thought to herself. Obviously she wasn't the only one who made the connection, because she found five pairs of eyes staring at her.

Hotch recovered after a moment, and started dishing out assignments.

"JJ, I want you to try to keep this out of the media. The less attention this guy gets, the better.

"Morgan, Reid, I want you two to go interview the first two victims families, Dave and I will interview the three most recent victims' families.

"Prentiss, I want you to stay here and work on victimology, we will all report back to you with our findings, and you can add it to what you come up with."

__

'great,'

she thought, _'he has me doing the one thing I don't like, just because me and the other victims have a few similarities. Its like he thinks I can't protect myself, but they are just interviewing families, which isn't even that dangerous at all, so maybe he's just punishing you for pissing him off, not that you know how you managed to do that.' _Finished with her mind rant, she sent Hotch a glare to match the one he was shooting at her, then got to work, as the rest of the team headed out.

A/N: yes, short short short. But hopefully I will have another chapter up in a day or two. Don't worry, I won't make everybody wait years (huge exaggeration) for the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Soooo, a lot quicker than last time, right? I would like to thank THUNDER BRAT for her suggestions for the story, they really helped me get through this chapter.

Disclaimer in bio

CHAPTER 8

At the end of the day, everyone was exhausted. They had all been awake for more than twenty-four hours, and were becoming very frustrated that all of their efforts seemed to produce no results. The information Morgan, Reid, Hotch, and Rossi had gathered for Emily yielded no similarities or connections, and neither had all the searching Garcia had done the entire day. They all knew they were on a short time frame, and that the unsub would likely choose his next victim within the next day.

Emily watched as her teammates began to snipe at each other. Reid was picking apart everything Rossi was saying, and it was clear to her that if the genius didn't shut up soon, he was going to get hit. She stepped up to him, putting a had on his shoulder, and whispered at him to go look over the murder board again, to see if he could come up with anything. Dave gave her a grateful look, and she nodded to acknowledge him.

She saw Hotch talking to the Lieutenant in the corner, and waited until he was finished to approach him.

"Maybe we should call it a night, Hotch, It's been a long day." she suggested.

He just stood there glaring at her. 'why is he always so angry at me?' she wondered silently.

"So you're just going to give up, Agent Prentiss? You're just going to throw in the towel because it's been a _long day?" _He asked, mocking her.

She just stood there, shocked at how furious he sounded, but she was determined to stand her ground.

"no sir, im not throwing in the towel, but everyone is exhausted, and in bad moods," she said pointedly. He took a menacing step towards her, obviously catching her underlying message. She stood still, even though it looked like he would like nothing better than to slap her. Then the fury faded from his face, weariness taking its place, as, she assumed, he realized everyone was staring at the two of them. Feeling a little less threatened, she continued,

"We would all be in better shape tomorrow, once we've had some rest, so we can look at the case with fresh eyes. If we keep going, we're just going to continue going around in circles. It's not giving up, it's just knowing when you need a break, and right now we all need a break." She finished.

The anger was back in his eyes, but she could tell that he knew she was right.

"okay, guys, lets call it a night," he said loudly enough for the whole team to hear. "We'll take the night to recuperate, but tomorrow six am sharp I want everyone in the hotel lobby so we can get back to work on identifying this guy." Everyone let out sighs of relief.

They packed up their things, and headed out of the station. This time it was Emily who made sure she and Hotch were in separate cars. She ended up with Morgan and JJ, while Rossi and Reid rode with Hotch. JJ got into the back, immediately laying across the backseats, leaving Emily and Derek in the front. She gestured at him, to let him know she was fine with him driving, and got into the passenger seat.

"What's up with you and Hotch?" Morgan asked as soon as they were on the road. She thought about just saying everything was fine, but she was too tired to make that seem believable, and didn't want it to turn into an argument wit h Derek, so she gave him the answer she had been thinking all day.

"I really have no idea, Morgan. I wish I did." she added. "It seemed like things were getting better yesterday, but today…" she didn't feel the need to finish the sentence, he knew what she was talking about.

"Do you want me to have a talk with him?" Derek asked grimly. She knew he would, for her, but it would be awkward, reprimanding his superior. It made her feel a little better, knowing he had her back, and gave her just enough confidence to know she can handle it herself, and she tells him so. He lays his hand on hers, and keeps it there for the remainder of the trip, offering her his support, and she gives him a small smile when they come to a stop in front of the hotel.

After waking up JJ, they head to the hotel lobby, where Hotch is already passing out room keys. Derek and Reid end up in the room to the left of Emily and JJ's, and Rossi and Hotch on the right. It's the men's way of subconsciously protecting them, because they all know that hotels are a vulnerable place for travelers.

Once in their room, Emily allowed JJ to use the shower first, seeing how tired she was. She was just setting out her sleep clothes for after her own shower when she heard the knock on the door. She felt for her gun, relieved to find it still at her hip. She checked the peep-hole, frowned, then opened the door.

A/N: Slight cliffy. hehe. next chapter should be up in a couple of days if my muse keeps behaving.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. they really keep me going. This chapter was pretty hard to write, and I'm not too sure how I did. also, I tried something a little different, tell me what you think.

disclaimer in bio (as always)

_Five minutes before 'the knock'_

BAUAARONHOTCHNER

"What the hell, Hotch?" Dave asked as soon both men were in their room.

Hotch, Startled, looked up at him with a questioning gaze, trying to play innocent.

"Don't give me that look, I know that _you _know exactly what I'm talking about. I've know you for a long time, and you've never once treated a woman with disrespect. So what's changed?"

Hotch walked to his bed, and put his go-bag on it, taking his time to think about his friend's question.

"you've been treating Emily like an idiot all day, and she hasn't done anything to deserve it." Dave continued, trying to prompt Hotch to explain. When he realized that Hotch still wasn't going to respond, he went on.

"And then you made her feel useless on top of that. Everyone knows that she hates victimology, that she can't stand waiting around just to input the data that every other person on her team is out gathering." Dave opened his mouth to continue when Hotch stopped him.

"Enough, I get your point." He stopped for a moment to rub a hand over his tired eyes.

"I really don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why I keep trying to hurt her, but it seems like every time I see her, I'm mad, and she's just right there, and I know that it's wrong, but it's like I have to do something, and making her hurt seems like the only option. It's not her fault at all, but I can't seem to stop taking my anger out on her." Exhausted after finally admitting, both to Dave and himself, what he's been doing, he allowed himself to collapse onto the bed.

"What do you mean you have to do something?" Dave asked, suddenly realizing that maybe his suspicions about the two of them were right.

"Every time I see her- well, I want- I don't know," Hotch finally admits.

BAUEMILYPRENTISS

Hotch is standing in front of her, as Emily opens the door. They stand there for a minute, neither one of them quite sure what to do. Finally Hotch takes a step forward, intending on apologizing, and is shocked to see Emily flinch slightly. 'I have to make this right.' he thought to himself.

"Emily, I want to apologize for the way I've been treating you. I'm sorry that I ignored you in front of the plane, and I'm sorry I put you on victimology. I had no idea you disliked it so much, and I guess I should apologize for that too. I-"

"Would you like to come in?" She asked, cutting him off.

He nodded once, relieved not to have to pour his heart out in the hallway. She stood back and held the door open, letting him through before shutting and locking it. She went to her bed and sat down, then, realizing he wasn't going to do it on his own, gestured for him to sit down in the chair by her bed. She still couldn't quite meet his eye.

"I'd like to start from the beginning, if that's alright with you?" after her nod, he continued talking.

"When you first joined the team, I was upset that Strauss hadn't let _me _choose someone to replace Elle. I couldn't let her know how angry I was, because by then she was looking for any reason to get rid of me. And so I let the blame fall on you. And I convinced myself it was your fault, not hers, because you were an easy target." He saw the wince she tried to hide, and felt he had to do a better job at explaining.

"I'm not saying that it _was _your fault. It wasn't at all. I'm just saying that you were the easiest choice. And I know that started you out with an unfair advantage. I was angry, and the team still hadn't gotten over losing Elle, and I'm sure you got the feeling that you were an unwanted intruder. So I'm sorry for that." He finally stopped, allowing his apology to sink in.

She looked at him now, not quite wanting to believe what he was saying.

"I didn't think you noticed," she admitted. He gave her a small smile.

" I always notice." then he thought about her dislike of victimology.

"Well, almost always," he amended. Now she was the one smiling, knowing exactly to what he was referring.

"I'm not done," he reminded her, as she began to get up. So she settled back down onto the bed, facing him this time.

"Then you proved yourself over and over, and everyone saw just how good of an agent you are, how good you are with the rest of the team. I saw how good of a person you are. And I stopped truly seeing my wife. We'd already been having some problems, and that was just the last straw."

She looked down now, and her vulnerability made him go over to the bed, sit down next to her, and slip his hand into hers. He saw the sparkle of unshed tears in her eyes.

"Don't do this, Ho- Aaron, please." she begged.

"I can't- we can't do this right now. We're in the middle of a case, and- and I'm not ready." She admitted.

"I don't know if I can trust you yet. I _want _to," She reassured him, when she saw his face fall.

"but only time will tell. The way you've been acting lately, I just need to know that I can trust you, before anything else happens. Can we just go back to normal for now?" She asked.

"Of course, Prentiss," he agreed, relieved that she didn't hate him or resent him for his actions earlier, and for the what he just revealed to her.

"But I still want you to know, I love you." and with that he stood, gave her hand a squeeze before letting go, and walking out of the room.

_Just before 'the knock'_

BAUAARONHOTCHNER

"Every time I see her- well, I want- I don't know," Hotch finally admits.

"I-I think I love her."

A/N: So what do you think? good, bad? not sure? neither am I. :)


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